That time trusting my OBGYN nearly killed me, part 3

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cherry hill obgyn birth new mom caffeine and fist bumps baby importance of postnatal care uterus infection symptoms
I was sent home yet again. What the heck was going on with me? I had felt FINE just a few days ago. At this point, my stomach hurt all the time. I had trouble getting comfortable when I laid down in my bed. I had absolutely no appetite and, even if I did try to eat or drink, I would vomit it up just as soon as I ate/drank it all. I was still running a fever and taking Tylenol and Ibuprofen to combat that. cherry hill obgyn birth new mom caffeine and fist bumps baby

This was not what it was like when I was recovering after having my first child. Sure, there was some pain and weakness here and there, but there wasn’t a fever. I didn’t have trouble breathing then. My milk came in pretty much right away then and here, almost 5 days after giving birth, it still hadn’t come. When he was born, he started nursing like a pro right away. I was so excited about that because I had a heck of a time getting Big Dude to nurse and gain weight. I had to pump for months and measure everything to make sure he was eating enough. I thought I was going to have more success this time. cherry hill obgyn birth new mom caffeine and fist bumps baby importance of postnatal care
I started feeding Little Dude formula because it seemed my body just wasn’t working the way it was supposed to. This pained me so much. Not only was I in actual pain because of whatever was going on in my body, but I felt seriously defeated. My body was MADE to be able to create and nourish life. WHY WASN’T IT WORKING?! I didn’t want to feed him formula, right? Giving a baby formula seems to be viewed in society as taking the “easy way out.” They say it’s the “lazy” way to feed babies. I didn’t want people to think I was lazy or that I didn’t care about my baby. (Looking back…why did I care so much about what other people would think?! Why would other people care so much about how I fed my baby?!) newborn virtua voorhees hospital maternity infant mother new mom pregnancy pregnant birth

At this point, I was having trouble walking by myself. Like, I could walk, but I could only do so while hunched over. My stomach hurt so bad that it was painful to stand tall or lay down with my body straight in the bed. I had absolutely no appetite and, if I tried to drink or eat something I would vomit it up within minutes. I needed to go to the bathroom more often than normal even though I couldn’t keep food or liquids down. My heartbeat was noticeably faster and I kept having trouble catching my breath. I live in a split level house – the most stairs I go up or down at once is like 5 stairs. There was NO reason I should be out of breath if I was as healthy as my doctors said I was, right? After all, I was told this was all “normal” and “sometimes things just hurt more after a second baby.” cherry hill obgyn birth new mom caffeine and fist bumps baby importance of postnatal care uterus infection symptoms
Monday morning, I had an appointment scheduled with my OBGYN. My brother and sister in law came over to watch the kids so the Mister and I could go to the appointment.

The OBGYN’s office is no more than 5 minutes down the road from my house, so it didn’t take long to get there, but I remember sitting in the passenger seat and feeling pain in my stomach with every single little bump in the road. I was so ready to find out what was going on with me.

We didn’t wait long in the waiting room. The Mister and I were called into an office and I was given a paper to fill out. It was a questionnaire about my mental health. It wasn’t necessarily titled “Questionnaire about your mental health,” but, from the questions that were being asked, I could tell it was something used to measure that. I filled it out honestly. No, I wasn’t happy. No, I didn’t feel well. Yes, I was exhausted and feeling helpless. No, I was not having thoughts of hurting myself or my baby. My physical health was, not surprisingly, affecting my mental health.

new baby pregnancy birth obgyn prego son brothers big brother little brotherThe midwife came into the room (and I’m pretty sure there was another woman present, too?). I turned in my sheet and started telling her about what was going on with me. She kept telling me that the things I was describing was normal for a mom after giving birth for the second time. Stomach pain?? Sure…my muscles must’ve gotten stretched out and they’re just taking longer to get back to normal. Trouble sleeping? Well, there was a newborn in the house.

The one part I remember clear as day? I told her that I was pretty sure I was dehydrated. My lips felt so dry and I knew that I was not getting enough water because I couldn’t keep any food or liquids down. You know what she told me to do? cherry hill obgyn birth new mom caffeine and fist bumps baby importance of postnatal care uterus infection symptoms
“Drink water.”

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! I tell you that I’m dehydrated and vomit almost immediately after trying to eat or drink and you suggest I drink water?! I am trying really hard not to curse on my blog, I really am. But, honestly, the Jersey in me and the “new mom hormones” in me really wants to come out. I am sure you can figure out, pretty much exactly, the words going through my head.

“Drink water.” cherry hill obgyn birth new mom caffeine and fist bumps baby importance of postnatal care uterus infection symptoms
She obviously wasn’t listening to me. But, you know what, even in my worst moments, I’m a people pleaser. I was weak, I was tired, I felt horrible. So I just said something along the lines of “I’ll try to drink more water.”

I was reassured, again, that everything I was experiencing was normal. As a result of my apparent depression, I was diagnosed as having Postpartum Depression and prescribed Zoloft. Now, PPD is nothing to take lightly. It is very serious and, if you believe you have it or know someone that may be struggling, PLEASE get some help. But, you know what?! At this moment in my life, I was NOT struggling with PPD. Of course I was depressed – I felt horrendous and couldn’t feed my baby as my body was meant to. The sadness was a result of all my symptoms. It was not CAUSING other symptoms. cherry hill obgyn birth new mom caffeine and fist bumps baby postnatal care
But, I took that prescription and filled it. After all, these were trained medical professionals with whom I trusted with my life and well-being. Why shouldn’t I trust them? I was just a mom and had no medical training. They know what is normal and what’s not normal. They cared about me and knew what was best for me. I could trust them because they were professionals. Right?

Right??

cherry hill obgyn birth new mom caffeine and fist bumps baby importance of postnatal care uterus infection symptoms

This is Part 3 of my story. See Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

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